“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:31-33 NLT

Today during Buddy’s morning nap, I did not rest. I did not work.  I wondered.  Or more accurately, I worried.  Questions filled my head about the upcoming months.  Should I go back to teaching next school year?  Should I submit my paperwork for my principal licensure – all I have to do is submit it – and then should I apply for an administration job?  Should I work on different certification – like ESL or secondary ed?  Should I do something completely different?  Should I continue to stay home with Buddy?  I received no answers.  And then more questions filled my head – what if Dear Husband doesn’t end up going back to school?  What if he does?  What should we do? Questions, questions, questions, and absolutely no answers.

I worry that we won’t be able to give our kid(s) every opportunity on one income.  I worry that they will not turn out right if I go back to work OR if I don’t go back to work!

The theme here is worry.  And it didn’t do me a bit of good.  No answers. No plan.  No road map.  Just an hour where I accomplished nothing – not even a nap for me!  Blast!

And then God reminded me that He is in control and He provides.  No, He did not give me an answer to my questions.  He did reveal – through our online banking – that our tax returns were deposited, and now we have paid off all of our hospital bills thanks to our tax return! Yay!  Then when we get our Urgent Care bill from a few weeks ago, our Home Health Care bills and Synagis bills from Jan, Feb, and Mar. there should be enough with the rest of the return to cover a good chunk of that.  We are almost medical debt free.  Then we will just have Hubby’s small student loan and our mortgage for debt.  Dave Ramsey would be proud, right?

Lesson I am learning –  I do not need to make any decisions out of fear.  I know I will need to be reminded of this time and time again because I am a professional wonderer….worrier.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”  Matthew 6:34 The Message

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